Surgery Day to Day 3

So, I haven't really been up to writing anything down for the past few days, but after countless bottles of strawberry LaLa, Ensure shakes, blended up soup, and runny mashed potatoes, I think I'm finally ready to get some writing down. I'll start with the big day:

June 26, 2012

I woke up around 7:45 and took one last look at myself in the mirror before getting in the shower. It was weird to think that after 22 years, the face I would see staring back at me after today would be different. Not unrecognizably different, I know, but different all the same. I felt a little afraid that maybe different will equal bad, and this whole thing will be for naught. I was also second guessing myself. Do I really need this? I've survived without it this far. What if I really do have the bone-dissolving incurable disease that my first orthodontist said I had? Then this wouldn't even matter. What if I'm really just vain and spoiled and want a perfect smile, when maybe I don't need one. After looking through blogs and blogs of people who require jaw surgery, my case is pretty minor. Some of them need double-jaw surgery, huge movements made, months of swelling and agony....but I couldn't dwell on all of this for too long because soon my dad was shuffling me into the car. Off to the hospital. 

I got there, checked in, said hello to my grandma who had probably been there about 20 minutes before us, and all too soon was taken back to the pre op room. There, the nurse talked to me, asked me some medical questions, and started the IV. Once the IV was dripping right, my dad and grandma were allowed to come back and sit with me. My mom was texting from the conference she was attending in North Carolina, and I could tell she was just as freaked out as me. It was strange being in the hospital, hooked up to all these machines, and being completely healthy. 100% fine. Willingly accepting pain and weeks of bedridden boredom. My anesthesiologist (who had a very interesting name that reminded me of "Barbosa" from the Pirates movies) came in and talked to me for quite literally 30 seconds. I asked about nausea and told him I really didn't want to throw up, and he responded by saying "Yes, the chances are high. You are a female, and young. We have rescue medication for that." I wasn't sure if he had interpreted my question right....rescue medication? What did he think I had just asked? What were my chances high for? I decided not to think about it as I said goodbye to my dad and grandma and was wheeled to the operating room. It was about 40 degrees in there and looked like the set of an ER scene. Huge lights hung from the ceiling, countless machines beeped and lit up, and shiny instruments of all kinds littered the tables surrounding a single bed in the middle of the room. This "bed" was barely wide enough for me to lay on and I asked the nurse what the chances of falling off during surgery were. She said I wouldn't fall, and my doctor walked in and asked me questions to keep my mind off the surgery. "You have any siblings?" A brother. "Younger?" Yeah. I wasn't very talkative, so he came over and squeezed my foot instead. It was strangely calming. "You will feel very woozy soon," the anesthesiologist said to me before asking the nurse for a scalpel and forceps. Suddenly the world was spinning violently and I told the nurse I didn't feel well. Then it seemed like every muscle in my body was contracting all at once. It was extremely painful and I yelled that I felt like I was having a heart attack. The nurse looked slightly concerned for a second, and then I heard the anesthesiologist say he gave me something. She said "It's ok, he just gave you something," which was not exactly comforting or informative, but then I was out. 

I woke up in some room that I'm still not sure the name of. It sounded like I was surrounded by other hospital patients. I heard coughing, puking, moaning, everything. But I felt fine and kept falling in and out of sleep. I remember pressing my morphine button twice and them telling me they were giving me something in an IV, and then I was being wheeled to my room. Once there, I saw my dad and grandma again. They told me that the doctor said everything had gone perfectly. My bone broke the way it was supposed to, and my bite looked good. My dad said that since my bone was so dense, there was no way that I had the disease that my orthodontist had diagnosed me with a few years ago. I felt relieved to be out of surgery alive and functioning, and I fell back asleep. Throughout the day, my grandparents, boyfriend and brother came to visit and I talked to them all as best as I could. I was actually feeling pretty good for most of the day. Then they gave me chicken broth, and it was disgusting. I'm sure that is not what made me puke, but I did shortly after. Blood. Nasty. But after that, I didn't feel sick again and fell back asleep (my brother and boyfriend stayed overnight with me and slept on the same couch, which made me laugh). The next morning, the doctor came in to check on me and said I was cleared to leave. My boyfriend's mom came to visit and brought some magazines, then I watched Stick-It while I received my last IV dose of antibiotics and a steroid shot in my leg, then I was ready to go. I got wheeled through the hospital in a chair big enough to sit 4 of me (a bariatric chair, the nurse said) and people stared at me as I exited the lobby. I looked like a monster. Here's a cute shot.

We had to stop at my surgeons office to take some xrays, and once we arrived, the nurses let me know that my swelling was the worst they had seen all month. Oh boy. They took the xrays and I asked if I could see them. Once I looked, I knew that the surgery was worth it. 

Here's before:

And afters:

It was crazy to see the movement in my teeth, and feel them touching together. I secretly chewed a piece of potato stuck in my soup today, and it was the weirdest thing ever. I have never been able to cut through something like that!

Anyway, yesterday was day 2. I had ground up chicken noodle soup, mashed potatoes, and a yogurt drink called Lala that I have grown to really like because it helps the disgusting medicine go down smoothly. I laid around and watched 21 Jump Street then fell asleep. Today has been equally uneventful. I ate more blended soups and potatoes, and drank some Ensure. I also played my brother's xbox and am currently about to watch another movie. My biggest complaints right now would be my nose and the time it takes to eat anything. My nose is bloody and pretty stuffy from all the tubes they shoved down it during the surgery. Congestion with your mouth clamped together is not fun. But it's getting better and hopefully by tomorrow (exciting day 4) it will be almost non-existant. The eating thing is frustrating, but at least I like soup. I cannot WAIT to sink my teeth into a burger. Or pizza. Or even Taco Bell. Everything sounds so good. Grrrr. Oh well. I will wait it out and continue to lose weight, just to gain it all back again. I would guess I've lost about 6 pounds, but I don't really know or care. The road to recovery is slow and uncomfortable, but I think this will be worth it in the end!